I Love You~ You Love Me~

I finally got to watch the season finale of "24" now that the blunt of my schoolwork is done. (still got 2 weeks to go). And I love how Hollywood portrays death/redemption--this season was advertised as "redemption".

Anyhow, Jack is dying and a Muslim Imam that Jack befriended comes to talk to him, and Jack is regretful and worried of his mistakes. The Imam says "we live in complex times Mr. Bauer, nothing is black and white." Hmm... at least I'm glad that this time around it wasn't a christian pastor or a catholic priest who said those compromising words... hahah. Sounds very New Agey to me. Well, to top it off the Imam announces "I see before me a man, with all his flaws and all his goodness, simply a man." long emotional pause "let us both forgive ourselves for all the wrongs that we have done." Then Bauer feels at ease now.

Ok... so the solution according to this show is that we forgive each other and all will be well. Heh, interesting perspective, there is no God, nor Allah, not even a higher being. Politically corrected and washed clean. All that's left is humans forgiving humans. It seems if that's possible then the world will be at peace.

The problem is that humans ARE flawed and humans can't seem to forgive each other to begin with. Anyhow... make your own application.

"Walkabout"?

No, I didn't want to be like Locke from Lost... lately I've been looking to "do" something beyond the regular stuff. I've got to praying and thinking and thought I should do a "walkabout" around my neighborhood and church.

I'm not a good planner nor do I enjoy it although it does not mean I don't plan things. I'm not a strong prayer warrior--I don't get don't on my knees and pray for 2-3 hours straight--but I got my daily dose and pray while driving, while alone, and in special times of need for myself and for others as the Holy Spirit brings it to remembrance beyond my "planned praying" time.

What I'm good at is fixing things (temporarily) on the spot if something goes wrong. Most recent highlights: once a lapel mic clip broke at school, and I bent and twisted a paper clip to fit through a hole and be able to hold the mic clip into place. I didn't have a wrench, I just used scissors to bend it... Another time the bathroom's flushing mechanism snapped (the flushing knob broke off) so I grabbed some stiff copper wires (don't know why they were around), bent them into an L shape and replaced it where the flushing knob was and voila... fixed. Must be because I grew up watching MacGyver all the time.

Back to the point... so I decided to do something where I could be spontaneous... The end result was that I went on a walk around my neighborhood for one hour. Today I walked around church for one hour. This is not just for exercise. I tried to look around for ministry opportunities (no ipod's no distractions) and before going out I prayed for a few days that God may open up opportunities (whether it is a homeless person, or someone in need, God knows best)

It would be great if I could tell you that I ended up talking and bringing 5 people to Christ. But that didn't happen, and it doesn't discourage me, because I decided to do this regularly and get to know the neighborhood around church some more. Have you thought about what you are good at? what you are not? why don't you pray and think about something you can do on your own from the creative mind that God has given you?

For those that are wondering what if after a couple of months of prayer and walking nothing happens, then it just means I might have to move on to something else. I'm not in the aspect of doing things for the sake of doing things ignoring the real necessities around me... speaking of which that'll be this sunday's message... "People > Rules" I remember writing a blog about that before... will be able to use that as an illustration hehe. See? this blog is very useful!

Testing Windows Live Writer

 

Windows recently released many “Windows Live” utilities and programs.  Amongst them is this program called “Windows Live Writer” which you can use to post to your blogs, whether it be Wordpress, Blogger, and many other online or personal blogs.

This post was made using the Live Writer.  It is cool, I am able to add the image on the left select WORD WRAPPING options for it (like in Microsoft Word) and even create the rounded corners for me without having to edit them in a photo site.

Setup wise, it is fast, as soon as you enter your URL and login information it tries to grab the source code so you can start writing and that was it.  No need to go into options or configuration.  I haven’t looked into it but I wonder where the image above get’s uploaded in the internet… need to look around to see what more I can do with this.

Anyhow, now I go to finish up some schoolwork before Tuesday comes around… my mom is making a seaweed soup and my place is starting to smell like oysters… I think.

Other image options you can choose:

 

How Dare This Boy?!

P050809PS-0264, originally uploaded by The Official White House Photostream.

This photo would not be possible in the Korean (asian?) culture for many reasons.

1) A top leader would never "bow" to anybody in their pride and rank, much less to a child's request.

2) A child touching an adult's head would deem disrespectful and the father would proceed to spank the child mercilessly for such disrespect.

3) insert many other cultural differences and conundrums

The problem that 2nd generation Korean-American's face is therefore quite tough. Growing with the idea that there is not a problem of calling an older person by their first name in the American culture, they sometimes would do that in a mixed generation location such as a Korean Church. Yet, their Koreanized parents, not understanding American culture would chastise their children, who would be clueless as to why as everything they see say otherwise.

I remember many times when I would goof around with the children at church and sometimes one or more adult would catch them and tell them that they are disrespecting me. That they are not supposed to jump on the pastor, or pat their head, or choke them from behind, or kick them when they are down... well, ok that last one I have to agree, it hurts, I'm human too.

I felt no disrespect and this is the way to play with kids and get to be close to them. I don't mind if the adults try to teach them manners but... anyhow... I can talk about this topic for about 10 chapters on the positive and negative for the first and second generation and the bridge builders in between who are trying to make both sides understand each other... tough job... good luck me... haha.

"Purposed in his heart"

Daniel 1:8 "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself." NKJV

The term "purposed in his heart" is translated as "made up his mind" in the NASB and NET bible (currently enjoying this translation), the NIV uses the synonym "resolved" for what Daniel decided to do. Daniel was able to stand tall and not compromise on what came because he had prepared his heart/mind to not compromise, and he wasn't caught off guard.

A few years back, after reading this passage, when I started serving as a Sunday School Pastor, I had "purposed" in my heart to give priority to the children above everything (tasks or even adults). This resolution in my mind focused my actions to show my love for the children to the best of my ability following the scriptures.

The first thing I did was to crouch when talking to the children to meet them at the same eye level instead of looking down on them. Second, when I would talk to an adult and a child would call my attention, instead of brushing the child off ("sorry kid, can't you see I'm talking to an adult?"), I purposed to give the child attention over the adult, and would answer them as well as possible without rushing. The adults were always understanding, if not inwardly, at least outwardly. Lastly, it was to drop ANYTHING I was doing to give attention to the child.

There was a time when we were painting the Sunday school room and a child wanted to talk with me. I brushed the child off telling her that I had to paint this wall before the paint dried off. She walked away, and as soon as she did, the Spirit made me realize I made a stupid WALL more important than a child of God. I dropped my brush, and walked over to the child, apologized and asked what she needed to talk to me about. The wall can be repainted, but this opportunity to spend just a short time with a child would be hard to make up.

And so, after noticing my impatience with my mother, I realized the problem was that I had not "purposed" in my heart on how to deal with my mom. So, recently I resolved and made up my mind that I would talk to her with more patience and understanding and would not get mad at her.

If God is testing you somehow--whether it be your anger, jealousy, pride, laziness, etc.--then I would recommend you "purpose" in yourself to stop doing it, and therefore instill a right attitude to be able to overcome the testing that God is giving you.

Reality Check

Last week I came to the realization that I was not a patient man. Maybe other people around me knew it too, but I had considered myself patient in many areas. But God showed me how impatient I was when it came to dealing with my mom.

In her "senior moments" as I mentioned before, she would forget about things and would ask me some things over and over and over. Me, in my impatience, would end up losing my patience and lash out at her and tell her that she had asked me that.

I guess I have a long way to go to improve some aspects of being patient and being a good listener without going into fits of rage.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall - 1 Cor 10:12

Remember this warning is for those who THINK they stand. I'm glad God showed me how I wasn't standing on strong ground but that I needed to take heed and pay attention to this aspect of my character.

God will constantly train us through circumstances and hardships so that we may grow, we just have to be attentive to his teachings and be willing to change and improve.

Plastic Fantastic

Plastic Fantastic, originally uploaded by offstandard.

I was eating at a special church event and they served our food with these really nice looking forks. They almost looked like metal, but when I lifted the forks from the table, the sudden realization that this was only plastic made my thought go from "woah, they are going all out!" into "ah... plastic fantastic." (yeah, I really think in these corny ways)

It reminded me how the Christians in the USA are a lot like this plastic fork. It looks very hefty and looks like they have strength, but it will be very easy to snap this in half. Christians these days care too much for how they are perceived by people and take care to make themselves look like good strong Christians. Yet reality is that there is no weight behind their facade and once people actually get to know these shallow Christians, it will be apparent how lacking they are to the real thing.

Although there are plenty of me that act this way as well. Maybe that's one reason I really want to get out of this "comfortable" culture that makes Christians so.... "blah"

Vertigo

Eucalyptus (The Remix), originally uploaded by bellasqueeza.

I was about to pick up some antibiotic prescriptions recommended by my dentist at Rite Aid, and was waiting at a chair watching dust bunnies.

Once I stood up, I felt dizzy. This is not the "light headed" dizzy from standing up too fast, or lack of oxygen/blood to the head. This one was new. It felt as nausea, as if I had vertigo, everything around me was moving although I was standing still, as if I was on a boat in a storm.

Luckily I didn't fall or pass out or anything dangerous or embarrassing like that haha. I was able to walk back home safely but the vertigo feeling stayed for about 30 minutes.

I'm guessing it might be an inner-ear infection, as I had a pretty bad infection back in college where I had oily liquid flowing out of my ear (yeah, disgusting). I'm starting to feel my body going downhill, time to visit the doctor's office... Oh well. That's the nature of our physical body that has fallen from perfection.

Early Morning Prayer (The History)

Koreans are known for their early morning prayer meetings at the crack of dawn before going to work. It is not a bad habit... IF it was done with the right heart, but many times people just attend because they are in a way "forced" to attend. I remember once hearing that I (being a part-time youth pastor) should attend the early morning prayer because if I didn't then the people at church would feel as if they didn't have to attend neither. My first thought was "what in the world?! So people are going because other are going instead of to pray to God?!" and my reaction was "then they shouldn't go!" but of course I held my peace.

How did this start? In 1907 there was this great Revival in Korea (unified Korea at the time) aptly named Pyonyang Revival (pyongyang was the capital of Korea, and current capital of North Korea). During that time one pastor, felt by God that he should wake up early in the morning and pray, decided to go early in the church to pray by HIMSELF. Other people in the church started to hear that the pastor was praying before the crack of dawn and started to join in prayer and soon everybody joined in fervent prayer.

Now this act has become a tradition where most Korean churches have a morning prayer, and leaders/members of the church are in a way "forced" to come to church. In 1907 it worked because it was an agrarian culture. People who went to the same church usually lived in the vicinity and they would be working by the time the sun was up until the sun was down (not having electricity and all). However, in modern 2008... wait... 2009 (how time flies) people drive 5-30 minutes to go to church THEN drive again who knows how many miles to go to work.

I'm sorry, I'd rather spend that time praying at HOME and saving some time, and stress. Yes, gathering together to pray is good and should not be ignored, but to tell you the truth it's not for me. There are morning people and there are night people. If you agree, then agree BUT do not use it as an excuse to not pray!!! If you can't pray by yourself, then I say force yourself to go to a prayer meeting so you at least get some training in that matter. Therein lies the problem, it has become a tradition and not something you do because you sense a strong urge from the Spirit for you to do.

Anyhow... enough venting... I hope I haven't offended anyone... well.. I probably have. haha.

From Personality to Preference

Disclaimer: I love my mom. And there is probably worse aspects of how I treat my mom than the following facts. As an example, I'm a very stubborn son. I rarely listen to what my mother tells me and I bet if my mom had a blog it would be 100x longer haha.

Ok, so last time she dealt with my personality/character.

After that:
Mom: How come your clothes are so tight fitting? You should wear your clothes more loosely, it'll make you look more mature.
me: ...

Mom: Did these curtains come with the apartment?
me: no, why?
Mom: These curtains are too dark, you should get some lighter colored curtains.
me: well, they are dark because I want the room to become dark so I can watch movies on my projector
Mom: still, you should get lighter curtains.

Mom: why are your bedsheets these dark colors?
me: I like blue (my bedsheets are navy blue)
Mom: how come you are not using the ones I sent you from brazil?
me: ... well... (the ones my mom gave me are yellow and green with very asian motif)

Mom: You should put some rugs in the bathroom for when you come out of the shower you, so you don't slip in the floor.
me: ok... I'll buy them tomorrow.

ah... I can at least say, thanks to God that I have a mother, I know there are many people out there who grew up without mothers and I am blessed to have a caring mother. And I definitely grew up with a lot of things from mom. She just tries TOO HARD but... well... thank you mom. Happy Mother's Day. =)

Update

Woah, has it been 2 weeks already since I last updated? Time shure flies. BTW, my mom is visiting. Here is a regular conversation that goes on daily.

Round 1.
Me, doing laundry.
mom: no wonder you don't feel like getting married, you can do your own laundry huh?
me: ...

Round 2.
Me, cooking some Udon for mom.
mom: so you cook most of the time?
me: yeah, and I just buy side dishes from the market.
mom: ah, no wonder you don't feel the need to get married.
me: ...

Round 3.
Me, doing dishes and cleaning things
mom: ah, you have everything you need here, I like how you organized things.
me: yeah, I have been living by myself for 12 years now.
mom: ah, if you couldn't clean things by yourself you would have found a wife by now.
me: ... mom... I know you love and are worried about me and want me to get married. But if I was looking for someone to cook, clean, and keep the house tidy, I would get a maid. I'm not looking for a wife for those reasons mom.
mom: ...

yeah... that's my life these days. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, she has taken care of me all my child-hood, but she is quite negative sometimes =) In the end, I still trust God that in due time things will work out... what that "due time" is who knows... and don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not "looking" it's just that currently I am busy with many other things that take precedence such as church, school, hmm... being free and single muwahahah! Man, I'm going to die a single man ain't I God?